Discover the magic behind the scenes of every wedding day! As one of the judges in the newly established category for Bridal Seamstresses, Tailors, and Dressmakers, I am thrilled to shine a light on the unsung heroes who transform visions into reality. With over 40 years of experience, I’ve witnessed the incredible talent and dedication within our seamstress community. From bespoke designs to expert alterations, these professionals ensure every bride feels her most beautiful. Join me in celebrating their artistry and commitment, as we recognize their invaluable contributions to the wedding industry!
I am honoured to be one of the 3 Judges in the newly created category for Bridal Seamstresses, Tailors and Dressmakers.
We are often the unsung heroes of the day it has been said.
The unseen magic that means the entire wedding party look their most amazing version of themselves.
As a seamstress of more years than I care to mention! And a multiple times finalist and regional winner in the original designer category, I felt strongly a seamstress category was needed.
I asked, they said make it viable, and our amazing seamstress community rose to the challenge, and then some!
There is a wealth of talent out there, it takes patience, skill, empathy and time management amongst many other skills to be a professional bridal seamstress.
I am very pleased that they are recognised by TWIA, in my opinion the best awards in the UK of their type.
The TWIA Judging Process is the most comprehensive, rigorous and fair in the UK wedding industry.
All judging is undertaken by the Judging Panel individually, remotely, independently and without consultation. This is to ensure that no single judge in any category has undue influence over any other judge.The Wedding Industry Awards (TWIA) are an annual awards program that recognizes and rewards excellence in the UK wedding industry. The awards are based on both regional and national voting by clients and expert judging.
Previous TWIA awards event
TWIA was established in 2011 by Damian Bailey, a wedding photographer who won Wedding Photographer of the Year at another awards program. Bailey wanted to create an awards program that was run for the right reasons and not just to promote another product.
#twia2025 #twiafinalist #twiajudge
My TWIA profile
Bex is the creative force behind Bexbrides, established in 2008. She is self-taught, with 40-plus years of extensive experience sewing and designing clothes and furnishings, focusing for the last 20 years predominantly on bridal. She has a particular interest in bohemian and alternative bridal whilst her services include bespoke design, specialist bridal alterations, customisation and upcycling of vintage and retrobridal gowns. She has been a TWIA Regional Winner on five occasions and a finalist on a further three. Bex is a mentor and source of advice for colleagues and brides alike in a range of online groups, being part of a national team that connects clients with skilled seamstresses. She is passionate about supporting bridal seamstresses, working tirelessly to make sure that their skills, abilities and value are appreciated and recognised nationally. Her goal is to make sure that all brides have access to expert seamstresses.
Previous regional award event
Bex is well-regarded by her peers for her tireless work during the COVID-19 pandemic, during which she campaigned to get monetary aid for bridal seamstresses who were very badly supported financially, meeting with several government ministers to raise the issue. She continues to advocate on seamstresses to make sure that they are paid an appropriate wage for what is an essential and specialist profession. Bex’s dedication to the support of her peers is more than matched by her passion for realising her clients’ visions. Her clients regularly say she can intuitively bring to reality an idea they have in mind. Bex is dedicated to maintaining a level of commitment to her clients to ensure their journey is stress-free, exciting, empathetic, rewarding and fun, with a finished product that is as close to perfect as possible and with the client feeling the absolute best version of themselves on their big day.
Discover the ultimate escape with “Bex’s Bodacious Breaks,” designed exclusively for women seeking relaxation and rejuvenation in the stunning landscapes of Andalusia. Picture yourself unwinding in a luxurious villa with a saltwater pool and breathtaking sea views, or a charming Spanish townhouse just minutes from the historic town center and beautiful beaches. Immerse yourself in a rich blend of cultural exploration and self-reflection, from sea dipping and tapas evenings to visits to Almuñécar Market and Salobreña Castle. Join a supportive community of women and recharge at your own pace—your perfect retreat awaits!
“Bex’s Bodacious Breaks” are incredible retreats for women seeking relaxation and rejuvenation. With the picturesque setting of Andalusia, featuring a villa with a saltwater pool and sea views,or a traditional Spanish townhouse with panoramic views roof terrace in minutes from the historic town centre and beachs .
They both offer the perfect backdrop for unwinding. The beautiful town of Nerja, its beaches, and activities like sea dipping, tapas evenings, and trips to Almuñécar Market and Salobreña Castle provide a rich mix of relaxation and cultural exploration.
The focus on creating a supportive and safe space for women, particularly those balancing stressful jobs or businesses, is especially appealing. It’s great that the retreats blend both self-reflection and fun, allowing participants to connect with others, share ideas, and recharge at their own pace.
ALTS!! OK, it’s alterations but ’11 letter word’ doesn’t sound as dramatic…
However 11 letters are more than 4, which is very appropriate as bridal alterations are very much MORE. They take more skill ,more time, more patience, more organisation, more communication and more effort.
WHO NEEDS ALTS!
As a member of the bridal party whether you are the Bride, Groom, Mum, Dad, flower girl, page, Grooms Man, Brides Maid its probably inevitable that you will need alterations.
WHY? SURELY WE ORDERED THE RIGHT SIZE?
Clothing is made to standard sizes (and even the ‘standards’ are not standard) so as a bride, your boutique will choose for you the closest size. We take into account things like whether the waist is a close match but the bust is the next size up, but if the dress has a corset back then probably the size down for the bust will be ok. If it’s a zip or buttons, then for safety they will accommodate the bust, which means the waist will be big. Its inevitably easier to take in than let out! Hips… if it’s a full ball gown then sometimes you can accommodate the size down on the hip if the waist is a size smaller.
As you can see its a complex process, and often the shop might just for safety go for the size that fits your largest measurement, remember previous point, easier to take in, than let out.
THEY ORDERED IT BIG TO RIP ME OFF!
This often causes that age old myth we see in groups online – “they ordered me too big, so they could whack me with extra costs” – when actually what they did was order safely to prevent alts that would be more difficult for them and therefore more costly to you.
Letting out is always more expensive, as there are often problems to overcome: lack of beading/ lace etc. in the seam allowance which then has to be added; carefully steaming out stitch holes in plain fabric; adding panels; matching fabric. Its always harder than taking in.
HOW MUCH WILL IT BE ?
The average UK bridal gown alterations bill is £450. This figure comes from a huge survey of 500 bridal alterations specialist seamstresses from across the UK, with a variety of home workers and premises-based, individual workers or boutique in-house.
Remember the 11-letter word? Very apt as the average time taken on alts is 11 hours work to perfectly fit, sew, and steam a dress, including all the communications, fittings, pinning/ sewing, pressing/ steaming and collection. Furthermore, recent fashions have dictated that bridal gowns are now far more complicated than they were five or ten years ago. This involves a lot more work than would previously have been the case. The average hourly rate is £41. This covers rent, rates (or percentage of your home costs), insurance, electricity, machinery servicing, staffing, materials and so on.
Out of that, after business costs are deducted, your seamstress is likely to earn an hourly rate of £15 to £25. For most seamstresses, a commercially viable rate would actually be £45 to £75 per hour. Although many do charge that, you can see there are many in the industry undercharging, too nervous to ask for a fair rate, for fear of backlash, accusations of ripping off or overcharging etc.)
AVERAGE WORK ?
So, look at that average of £41.
Car service: average of £80 to 100 per hour.
Washing machine repair: average of £60 to 80 per hour
Gardener: average of £40 to 75 per hour.
The truth is that sewing at a professional skilled level is still hideously under-recognised. It’s historically seem as ‘women’s work’, with all the baggage and negativity (as well as financial limitations) that pejorative phrase suggests. We should all be actively supporting seamstresses to change this. We have all genders working in this skilled area and all deserve a wage appropriate for a skilled professional.
THATS MORE THAN I PAID FOR THE DRESS!
Unfortunately we hear this a lot!
With the market totally flooded with Far East fast fashion produced in tough conditions, you will find that you can buy a dress for half the price of your alterations.
This is because, in the UK, we have a high cost of living and I’m sure you will agree that it should be fair to pay your skilled seamstresses (for a job you are unable to do yourself, as you do not have the skill, experience or training) a fair wage. After all, you would not fix your car, repair your washing machine or even attempt to maintain your garden without the appropriate training, would you?
HOW DO I PLAN FOR THIS EXPENSE?
I always advise that you should budget at least £450 for alts on bridal, and £75 on maids. It may be more, it may be less. But be prepared.
And if you are 5ft 8 and a perfect size chart fit, try not to feel too smug… you will still need your dress steaming😗)
Have a thought for the rest of us…
HOW DO I CHOOSE A SEAMSTRESS?
Ask for recommendations, look at reviews and pick somebody you trust and who you feel you can build a good relationship with. If you use Facebook, this is a really good group to find a reputable seamstress:
If you have had your wedding between 2.10.23 and 30.9.24 and your bridal seamstress or tailor was amazing please nominate them in The Wedding Industry Awards.
I’ve seen a few posts recently about online dresses from lots of different sites.
They seem so appealing due to their price!!
Why are they so affordable and bridal boutiques or legitimate sites more expensive?
There is a reason why they are cheaper, I’ll list a few:
They steal images, so they have no commercial photography costs , no brand building advertising costs.
They use low grade fabrics, low grade trims, low grade crystals ( plastic instead of glass etc)
They use low grade boning.
They use unethical methods of supporting and paying employees
They do not provide a bricks and mortar retail environment where you can go and try, and establish what shape suits you, get advice on fit, feel the fabrics. ( some do offer a chargable service to send out to try, which is good, but most don’t
This is just a few examples above.
So how do brides find out what will suit them if the online company does not send out, what to do?
These companies ( can you believe!) Encourage you to go visit the very independent stores whose designers they have ripped off , they encourage you to utilise their staff, access the use of those businesses running costs ( rent, staff, sample dresses, electricity, insurance, advertising etc) take up their time and expertise. These are expensive costs which is why dresses in real boutiques, selling genuine designers, where you can touch, feel, asses the quality, TRY ON and be advised and use an hour or three of their time to get the perfect dress, why they are more costly.
Then they Encourage you to walk away after effectively using that expertise for free ( you see now why many have starred to charge) walk away and order a knock off replica online once you have accessed expertise to see what suits you.
I am an independent boutique owner, selling designers dresses, plus my own bespoke designs.
If I did not have to staff my boutique, insure it, rent it, heat it, spend usually around 4 to 5 hours with each client communicating and helping them choose ( not including fitting and sewing time) then I too could slash prices, If I did not go to the expense of hiring models and doing photo shoots of my dresses, if I just stole other people’s photos I could charge less. But its ethically and morally wrong
I am not anti online shopping, in fact I have a lot of clients who purchase remotely, ( etsy, shopify,Instagram) mostly the ones in USA , Australia and New Zealand , but I would NEVER ask them to go waste another independent businesses time. Instead I take the time ( from my business costs) to communicate with them, take extensive measurements, do video calls. Also I protect them and adhere to distance selling rules.
Our beautiful, talented, passionate indie boutiques and designers in the UK are struggling, the world is being consumed by alibaba, aliexpress, temu, amazon, shein ( do love shein mind!!, as it is hard to find daywear when you, like me are a size 22, but they mostly ( not alwats) do their own photos)
PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR BRIDAL RETAILERS, use it or lose it.
For those on a lower budget there are lots of options, all boutiques always have samples at up to 75% off, you can buy pre loved, vintage, retro etc.
Please help be part of the solution, not the problem.
BEX proud to be an indie bridal retailer and designer.
Thanks for listening xxxx
Below is a photo of a vintage/ retro dress that I hand coloured, so its totally original, as it was a 40 year old dress that I customised, I had it on etsy, but the client came to my studio and had it fitted, it was about £400 plus alts, so very affordable, an original one off. But look at all those copt sites. What on earth would you receive, they dont have a photo of the front for starters so did they just take a wild guess!
I’m bloody certain it would not be a vintage/retro dress that had been hand coloured!!
Its not often than things make me so incandescently mad that i have to put them straight immediately!
But this is one of those times.
Anything you book for your wedding will have a different price than the same or similar service if its not for a wedding.
If you have a dress made for a party will you spend up to 3 years talking to me, exchange often 50 to 150 messages, spend hours choosing fabrics and designs. Have 4 to 6 fittings??
Probably not? Thats why a bespoke wedding dress costs what it does, not because it has wedding in the title!
If you are having your hair done for a party or a night out, will you want to have one or more trials, will you want to exchange dozens of messages about your hair and wedding vibe, have a trial possibly with your hair accessory in? Will it need to stay looking fabulous for up to 16 hours?
Probably not, thats why wedding hair costs more, because its more difficult, takes more consideration and communication not because it has the word wedding in it!
If you are having make up for a party or event, will you want the same amount of skill, communication and attention to detail as mentioned above for hair? Probably not! Will it need to cope with different lightning, day and night, flash and no flash, will it Need to last 16 hours??
Thats why it costs more, not because it begins with Bridal!
The same goes for your food, your photographer, your styling. All have to be meticulously planned, it’s probably the most photographed , most important event you will ever plan and be part of.
LIE TO YOUR SUPPLIER??
WHAT SORT OF ADVICE IS THAT??
Shame on you bride book!!
Who , do not forget provide a service to couples which is entirely funded by those suppliers they are asking their readers to lie to.
This week has been hard, last week was hard, my mental health is hanging in there.
When you suffer with mental health or anxiety or both , when you have a flare up you feel incredibly isolated, as you feel like you are drowning, when all around you are ok.
For me this time it’s different, I’m not alone.
250,000 other small wedding business owners are in the same position, so rather than isolated in my anxiety, I feel overwhelmed, I feel all their pain too.
Last time when I was really struggling with my mental health I felt alone, folk see your happy bubbly face, and your successful career, your home, your family and friends.
They wonder why you would struggle?
You wonder why on earth you struggle!
Several years ago 2012-2014 I had a serious breakdown, a build up of unresolved issues over the years, my sisters death, my weight, my first marriage breakdown etc.
Luckily I had an epic psychotherapist (Mandi) who helped me, plus I have an awesome husband who read up and learnt how to help. With their help and the help of my family, friends and my colleagues and clients in the industry I love I survived.
My therapist read me a short story called “The tree that survived the winter.”
She said I was that tree, I truly hope so, as I’m facing my worst winter ever.
It is staring me in the face, daring me to turn and run, to hide, to shelter.
I refuse to turn, I refuse to run, I even refuse to shelter.
I will just add extra layers, find a way through or around . On the worst , the coldest days when the despairing gales batter me I may just hide on those days, but I will see that as sensible, not failure.
The last few weeks when I, and all in my industry were finding a new way, a plan, to survive on the few 30 person weddings going ahead, we had processed the situation, and thought “Ok this is where we are”,we had done the maths, and tightened our belts.
Then “The rule of 6! ” Wham, sideways knock. It’s fine they said, does not affect weddings, but it did, as it was a confidence knock to those hanging on for an October announcement lifting numbers.
Then “Weddings to be 15 people, for six months ”
😲😮😯😢
Whoa, stop, I want to get off the world this is too much, too little, not enough. 😪
My inbox starts to ping…
“Can we move to 2022, 2023”
“What happens with my deposit”
“We are bringing the wedding forward, to this Saturday! Can you finish my dress”
Meanwhile the groups I am in, brides groups, suppliers groups are all in total freefall, in meltdown.
It’s too much.
I can’t think.
I can’t breathe.
BEX, breathe, deep breaths, in out, in out.
I’ve had 2 of the worst occipital neuralgia attacks I’ve had in five years in the last 2 weeks, imagine your head is being slowly crushed whilst knitting needles are inserted into your ears whilst feeling like you will vomit.
Yep, not fun.
I have an award winning business. Multi award winning! 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
I WILL NOT BE TOLD MY BUSINESS, MY INDUSTRY IS NOT VIABLE. 😡
Who do they think they are??😠
So here I am facing my worst winter, with my tools to survive.
*The fact that I chose to build my business in an affordable location to satisfy my affordability ethos for my clients.
My biggest strength is my clients, they have my back, I have had not one single refund request, all are working with me, they have all said no matter what the one thing we know is that you must make/ alter/ provide my dress.
I thank them from the depths of my heavy heart xx 🖤
It’s all very overwhelming, and difficult, but life is overwhelming and difficult.
That is something I have learnt the hard way.
I feel angry and frustrated that my 1, 3 and 5 year plans are now 2, 5 and 10 year plans, it is unfair, unjust.
Tolkien below sums it up perfectly for me.
So…
What now then you ask??
Well, we have still had a few brides grab the chance and elope or have a 6 person/ 30 person/ 15 person wedding and I’ll share a few images with you.
Going forward we anticipate a flurry of brides who actually bring forward their marriage and then have the party or reception later.
For the medium term we are coming to terms with the fact that the “micro wedding ” is our clients reality at least for the next 6 months, if not longer.
As our ethos has always been empowerment and affordability I feel this means we are going to be in a strong position and able to help those brides who want to forge ahead, with a scaled back, stripped down wedding.
They just want to be married, for whatever reason.
They will not let a virus stop them marrying their soulnext mate.
It might hinder, postpone , mess around with the sharing with family and friends, the party, “the main event” as some call it.
Some brides will forge ahead, some will hold back. It depends on what you as a couple want from your wedding.
And no one can decide who is right, or who is wrong. A 2 witness elopement is just as important as a 400 guest celebration and vice versa.
All I know is I will be here, at the helm of my crazy ship Bexbrides Ltd, with my trusty first mate Marie !! and we will not sink,though we might have to do a bit of bailing especially through this winter storm.
But we are both little mighty redheads, we will not be defeated !
But like the tree, I will survive as will Bexbrides.
I think we will all be taking a deep hard look at weddings, and marriage and what it means to each of us, and finding a way around that works.
No virus, no government can stop love.
And providing you can actually legally find a place to marry ( and probably even if you couldn’t, as for some couples it is be enough to just say the words) we can still do this!
This is the time to focus, strip it back to the reason you want to bind yourselves legally, morally, spiritually whatever is your jam, to another human, another soul!
Screw Covid 19, shit government, endless roundabout of rules and red tape.
Bring it on!!
You can’t restrict love, it can’t count, it will seep out and around the rules, it will fly over the internet, out of phone screens and into our hearts.
Over the phone lines, in letters, in texts in videos. Photos, oh my , photos will become even more important!
We will plan and we will find new ways to get married, and in the future revisit with after parties ( maybe waaaaayyyy after lol) we will have vow renewals 6 months later, a year later.
We will all find a way to do it.
DON’T GIVE UP.
Louisa and Rob at their socially distanced 30 person wedding.Pippa and Dean at their socially distanced wedding in Wales. Lorna and Sai, planned a cruise wedding, but had to just elope on their own, big party next year instead. Alex and Michael their wedding was supposed to be the first day of lockdown so the Friday night they found out no wedding next day so they and their guests had to just eat all the buffet that night! They have since had a 30 person wedding at a glamping site.
I expect to see more and more of our brides find ways around, and a small marriage and later reception will be the way forward for many.
I’ve gone on a bit, so I’ll finish now. 😂
I’ll leave you with a few things a peice about me in the press ( I was interviewed before the 15 person bombshell so was a little bit more bouncy, than I am today), but I’ll bounce back, just give my branches time to survive this current gale.
And last but not least, me with some of my wedding industry family, working in a wood on Monday to style an awesome circus themed wedding shoot. Watch this space for photos…
We’re very proud to say that our lovely friends at Unconventional Wedding have written their first “Supplier Spotlight” feature about Bexbrides! Please visit their wonderful blog to find out what they said about us, and a wealth of other unconventional wedding-related partners!
Hope you are all well. How are you feeling about restrictions being lifted a little: excited, nervous, relieved… anxious?? 😬🤔😕😯
Yes?? Me too!!
My week has been pretty fully occupied with liaising with my wonderful assistant manager, Marie. We’ve been considering how we can put in place a Covid-secure risk assessment whilst still delivering an exemplary service. It’s been difficult, as our USP is hands on design and our studio is full of beautiful items: dresses, veils, jewellery, floral crowns, capes, belts and sparkly things galore! They all just reach out to you to be stroked, touched and tried on, but in our ” new normal” (I f@@ckjng hate that term 😬😡) you now have to act like your super strict draconian parent is watching… “Look but do not touch” I hear my Granny’s voice in my head… “Look with your eyes not your fingers…”
So, we have scratched our heads and asked ourselves: what if this, what if that, how can we do this, how about that?? We feel we have come up with the best solution we can offer our wonderful clients whilst still keeping all safe in this trying time.
We will be opening via phone or messenger to do virtual consultations from 15th June. We’ll be looking after our existing brides in the studio throughout July and we will invite new brides from 4th July also.
We will be able to accommodate new brides on Tues, Thurs and Saturday initially (we do still have some availability in August) We will still offer our 90 min personal appointment and the bride will be allowed to bring 2 guests (fortunately, since our Studio is absolutely huge, we can accommodate two guests and maintain social distancing – there had to be a silver lining right??)
Bexbrides Ltd. Covid-secure policy:
🖤 Marie and I will be working together in what’s known as a “fixed pair” (none of our other staff will be working in the boutique initially). We will look a little like cute welders in our visors. You and any guest(s) will be required to wear disposable masks, which we will provide.
🖤 You will be asked to make a declaration regarding your exposure to Covid 19 in the last 14 days, and make an assurance to advise us should you or your guest(s) become knowingly exposed or develop symptoms in the subsequent 7 days after your visit (and we will advise you in a similar manner should Marie or I become knowingly exposed or develop symptoms.)
🖤 We will require you to sanitise before during and after your appointment. All documentation will be provided electronically.
🖤 Any dresses tried on will be quarantined for 72 hours and all surfaces/ touch points will be sanitised after each appointment.
🖤 Before your appointment we will have a detailed discussion about your style and what you are looking for in a dress, as we would do under normal circumstances. We will select dresses for you and can pull additional ones during the appointment. You and your guests will be unable to browse through the rails, but we will happily show you everything that would be suitable for your desired style, size and budget.
🖤 Your guest(s) will need to remain seated and maintain social distancing, unless they are a member of your household.
🖤 For brides wishing to bring more than 2 guests we have good news😍 – we have free parking and are situated in 14 acres of beautiful grounds, so we can accommodate up to 4 guests per appointment. In this case, we would divide your appointment into sections and your guests would be invited to enter in relays, with a 5 min gap between to allow us to sanitise touch points. This would be factored into the total 90 minutes maximum appointment time). However, WE ARE AFRAID WE CANNOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ACCOMMODATE MORE THAN 2 GUESTS PLUS BRIDE IN THE BUILDING AT THE SAME TIME: PLEASE DO NOT ASK US TO.😢 We also apologise that we are unable until the guidelines from BBSA change allow any children under 16 either, for the time being.
🖤 A copy of our full risk assessment can be supplied upon request.
I hope you can all appreciate how hard this has been for us; it goes against every atom in my being and to how we at Bexbrides work, but (as ever) we are putting our clients and their safety and satisfaction first.
We are normally hands on, touchy-feely, hugs all round; we often allowed our “90 min appointments” to run between 2 to 3 hours if there is no other bride booked in. We will now have to strictly limit appointments to 90 mins and our close-up time will be limited to 15 mins at a time. Whenever possible we will be maintaining 2m distance.
I hope this is an acceptable compromise for all our lovely clients, whilst working within the parameters. By following the guidelines as closely as we can we will all remain safe, but still provide a fun, joyful stress-free dress buying experience.
Of course, brides are welcome to share the experience with others via any social sharing applications they might wish to use (the studio can access the 4G network, – it can be patchy but is usually OK). Photography has always been permitted so they can share images with their wider gang that way as well.
So that was a fun part of this week… not ! However you might be wondering about the title of this weeks blog… Thank our lucky stars.
Well, when I wasn’t being a health and safety executive and virologist and battling with Covid-secure guidelines, I was being Bex the designer (which is what I much prefer!), making and posting Etsy orders to far-flung corners of the earth like Helston in Cornwall and Jackson, Mississippi.
